Why Just Telling a Kid to Toughen Up is NOT Enough to Stop Bullies...

Bullying is often done in secret.

That is why the wrong kid sometimes get the blame.

I know of instances where a kid has been mentally and

physically tortured by other kids and decided to finally

retaliate violently.

Then the kid was disciplined by the school for being overly

aggressive in his response to what appeared to be a minor problem.

That is why I do not believe in these zero tolerance policies.

The WHOLE situation must be examined.

I also know of parents who have threatened little kids who are

bullying their kids with violence, because they know that they

are making life a living hell for their child.

I'm not condoning this type of behavior... NEVER. But I do

understand how it could get to this point.

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Tip #1

Just TELLING a kid to stand up for himself is not enough

to deter bullies and rarely works.

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Often times kids can't stand up. There is something in the

way the bully has set things up that makes the bullied person

feel that he has no power to make a change in this situation.

Remember bullying begins with an imbalance of power. Two against

one, a more accepted social group, a larger kid, etc.... These are

all ways that power manifests itself.

If it starts with an imbalance of power. a successful plan must first

correct the imbalance.

Sometimes it is the bullied person's emotional and psychological

make up that makes it difficult for them to react to the threat.

Sometimes it is the school environment itself, as the bullied kid does

not believe adults can or will help them. Why? Because previous cries

for help have been ignored or the bully has been allowed to create

this type of perception.

So what should be the first step to correct this imbalance.

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Tip #2

Identify what is causing the imbalance of power and move to

shift the power back in the favor of the bullied person.

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As a parent, you may have to pick your child up from school at an

earlier time to deny the bully access to your child.

You might have to enroll your child in self defense classes

to increase his confidence.

I repeat. It is often NOT as simple as saying, "Oh, toughen up kid!"

If you want him to get tougher, you have to give him the tools to be so.

Click here for a schedule of my classes.

You may have to visit the child's teacher or visit the bully's parents.

What do you say?

No matter what the situation, unless there is an imminent physical threat

with no persons of Authority available to step in, direct violence should

be the LAST step in trying to solve the problem and it may only make the

situation worse.

Therefore the kid's personal plan should begin with what is called VERBAL JUDO.

I'll talk about verbal Judo and why I think it is a good starting point

in the next article.

God Bless.

Professor D'Arcy Rahming

9th degree Black Belt

Trainer of Life Champions,

Youth Olympians and Pan Am Medalist.

www.mmabahamas.com

P.S.

Any plan must involve increasing the student's confidence.

Click Here for a Schedule of my classes.